No Longer Living His Dream

Quoted below is a post I wrote about following my husband's dream. At the time I thought it would be part of the remainder of my life. I took it as our retirement plan. I can honestly say I'm surprised the dream changed about 3 months ago.

I told my husband I no longer wanted to be a part of the bbq business. I essentially was dissolving our partnership. The thing about being an entrepreneur is it's similarity to being a starving artist. You will sacrifice all for your dream of success. You will forgo a steak dinner for cereal to save money. If you're wise you will severe long-term relationships that seek to sabotage your efforts. If you're serious about your dream, then it's not about the money.

We survived and flourished during our time together but now I wanted to see what I was capable of. The blessing was and is, my husband fully supports me. His response, 'We lived my dream now it's your turn.' Yes I know the business would have suffered one way another without me but it could have survived until he found a way to make it without me. He chose not to.

When I asked for a fresh start, he willingly closed the business and agreed to move our family to another state. Another key thing about entrepreneurship, if you've survived the struggle, your no longer afraid of the struggle. We packed up and left what family we had left in California and moved to Oregan where we only knew one person. We had no jobs lined up but we're not afraid to work. We're both reinventing ourselves but we're still partners in life. We're still alive and survive off the energy of the other.

I no longer have a wilderness mentality, like the Israelites. For to many years I wandered the dessert following, obeying, sacrificing for the sake of others. What should have taken days took Moses 40 years. It's taken me less than that but not by much. My journey to the land of milk an honey is within reach and I'm reaching.

Originated 12/01/09

I'm having a bbq widow moment. My husband is in the bathroom listening to the BBQ Central Show. I know you're thinking TMI. It would be if he were using the facilities as intended. It's more like office time for him. He claims it's the only time he has any peace. But that's only if Morgan is occupied. She's not at the modesty stage yet.

They are talking about the new BBQ Pitmaster show that's coming to TLC. You would think after being in business (on paper) for over a year now I would have developed more of an interest in BBQ. Sadly, I still don't care. I do care about supporting my husband and eating good que but beyond that "miss me."

What makes most of this bearable is the satisfaction my husband gets for putting out a good product and hearing others rave about his food.

He received an email from a guy that came to the Torrance Farmer's Market today that made my chest swell with pride. Please allow me to share:

Hi. We met today at the Torrance Farmer's market. I was the guy that said he'd been looking for a good pork sandwich since Russ Wright's Pit BBQ in Orlando Fl went out of business in 1974 and you said "It's hard to compete with a memory." Well, you did and ... if you're not AS good .... you're AS CLOSE as it's been in 35 years of searching across 22 states. And when I say 22 states, I mean it -- let me tell you, when you're in Mississippi and you tell some guy that his pork isn't as good as you've had in Florida, you have to be serious about finding good food. Congratulations. Russ and I became friends enough for him to tell me that he smoked his port over oak and hickory, to show me that you can't cut pork into slices unless it's raw, cold or very badly cooked ... and that his sauce was the key and he claimed that what made the difference was that he used actual hog lard as the base. Sadly, not friends enough to get the recipe which dies with him in 1974. Anyway, you're at the top of my list for good BBQ and I'm not at all about chasing farmer's markets throughout the southland to be able to bring home a meal! Regards Darrel

It is stuff like this that allows me to let him live his dream. That coupled with the fact that we beat out the big boys for Best BBQ in L.A. on MyFoxLA. Granted it would be much easier if he went back to a 9-5 but hell who wants easy.

My mom asked about our finances and I told her the truth. No I'm not sharing the details with ya'll (Paula Deen moment). She told my aunt I walk around like nothing's wrong. To me it isn't. Why worry about something I wouldn't change. Not that I want to, but if we have to tear our lives down to build it back up, so be it. As long as I'm the wife with benefits, I got this

I know, I know. The line between bbq widow and loving/supportive wife shifts, grays, fades, whatever. I need a drink.

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